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Things Inside

My heart feels numb right now. It's a feeling you get when you are in a crisis. You can't function well and it's hard to concentrate on specific task you want to do. You feel tired all the time and you begin to imagine bad things that you might encounter. I'm scared and I don't know what to do.

I know that I take small things for granted. I never imagine these small things would accumulate into a big thing. It's hard to explain and it's hard to except the replies. I just don't know what I can do to make things better. All I want is that things would turn back to what it was.

When I open my mouth, words that come out of it simply don't reflect what goes inside my heart. I'm sorry about this flaw of mind. I'm sorry about my existence. I will try to improve and try to be there with a smile all the time. I've taken this path once and I won't take it again because it hurts me to see you like this. I'm sorry and I wish I can make you smile again…